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‘It could get an orgasm out of a cabbage’: the best vibrators, tested | Sex

‘It could get an orgasm out of a cabbage’: the best vibrators, tested | Sex


I could write here about how almost a fifth of women surveyed by Durex said using a sex toy was the most dependable way for them to climax. Or I could point out how Kinsey Institute research suggests regular masturbation can help relieve and prevent symptoms of menopause, such as vaginal atrophy. I could even tell you that studies demonstrate a significant correlation between intimate toy ownership and greater satisfaction – not only with sex but also with life itself.

But the potted version is that orgasms and erotic pleasure are glorious, and top-class toys can help you savour more of both. So here are the best vibrators available. Scroll to the bottom to find out how I selected these vibrators from the 53 I tested for this piece.


At a glance

Why you should trust me

I’m a multi-award-winning writer, broadcaster and educator with more than two decades of experience specialising in sexual wellbeing and culture. I’ve worked as an expert independent research and development consultant for more than a dozen adult product companies; I’m a board member of the Vagina Museum in London; I’m a campaigner for sexual health and gynaecological charities, including Terrence Higgins Trust and the Eve Appeal; and I helped write many of your favourite characters’ lines about dildos, douching and desire in the hit Netflix series Sex Education. All this means I’m well qualified to assess whether these devices have been crafted decently.

I’m also a freelancer who works from home. I’ll leave it at that.

Types of vibrator

The Satisfyer Air Pump Bunny 1.

Asking, “What’s the best sex toy?” is a bit like asking, “What’s the best tool?”: a plethora exists, and selecting the most suitable one is influenced by what you want it to do. Here, I’ve examined three popular styles of vibrators.

Bullets
Small, versatile vibrators for external use only. They’re primarily designed for targeted clitoral stimulation but can be used to tickle nipples, glide up the insides of thighs, or take on a tour practically anywhere on the body (except inside the anus – that’s not safe).

Wands
Large vibrators with broad heads, again for external use only. Wands deliver the most powerful vibrations over a wide area – this sector is where you’ll find the most bone-shaking master blasters on the market. Fantastic for people who need intense stimulation, and good for deep body massage, too.

Rabbits
These vibrators have two parts: an insertable shaft, designed to stimulate inside the vaginal canal and excite the G-spot, and an external head that stimulates the clitoris. This “dual stimulation” is intended to provoke a “blended orgasm”: a climax induced by mixing multiple forms of simultaneously delivered sensation.


The best bullet vibrators

Best bullet vibrator overall:
We-Vibe Tango X

£79 at We-Vibe
£79 at Amazon

The original Tango came out about 15 years ago, and it’s consistently remained so high up in expert rankings that by this stage it might have altitude sickness.

Why we love it
Its Goat status is justified: while many bullets offer “buzzy”, high-frequency vibrations that don’t travel far into the body, the Tango is satisfyingly “rumbly” for its size, providing additional lower-frequency stimulation that carries deeper into tissues and awakens more nerve endings. It packs a lot of oomph into its small size.

This latest incarnation features a silicone grip to make it less slippery to hold, while the business end remains hard and glossy. There’s nothing to muffle the vibrations: they’re full-on and focused, which is exactly what tickles many people’s pickles. Others may find the feeling too “sharp”, however.

Three separate buttons to increase/decrease power and change pulse patterns make it easy to find the exact output to suit you. There’s excellent variety between the settings, the lowest of which is more a brisk twitch than a vibration. Plus, a travel lock means you won’t have to trot out the “it must be my electric toothbrush!” line when your handbag starts humming.

It’s a shame that … the magnetic charger can be accidentally knocked off its connections, but it’s more hygienic than a lead that needs to plug into a hole in the toy.

Speeds: eight
Vibe patterns: seven
Power: rechargeable
Run time: two hours
Charge time: one hour and 30 minutes
Waterproof:
yes
Warranty: two years


Best bullet for innovation:
Hot Octopuss AMO

£49.95 at Hot Octopuss
£49.95 at Amazon

Another tiny yet mighty toy that, given its petite dimensions, is a powerful rumbler. Hot Octopuss is a skilled inventor: its suite of ingenious toys includes Pulse – the world’s first “Guybrator” that can induce orgasms from a flaccid penis as well as an erect one, proving a boon for cancer survivors, disabled people and others with erectile difficulties.

Why we love it
AMO’s ingenuity is in the way it’s sculpted, with a pointy tip for pinpoint pleasure; a broader head on the opposite side for more diffuse vibrations; and a fin-like profile for nestling lengthways between labia. It’s made of silky silicone, which – unlike tougher plastics – won’t hurt or slide around if you press down on it to apply extra pressure.

It’s a shame that … the battery life isn’t better, and the payoff of the inventive contours is that the AMO can’t be inserted into strap-ons, dildos or other toys that rely on a standard-shape bullet.

Speeds: six
Vibe patterns: five
Power: rechargeable
Run time: 40 minutes
Charge time: two to three hours
Waterproof:
yes
Warranty: one year


Best sustainable bullet:
Love Not War Maya

£89.99 at Love Not War
£89.99 at Veo

If you want to feel the earth move without harming the planet, Love Not War is your friend with benefits. Its Maya bullet is made from recycled aluminium in a hydroelectric-powered factory, and minimally packaged in a brown cardboard box printed with soy ink.

Why we love it
Seven different screw-on heads are sold separately to convert the bullet into, say, a mini wand or G-spot probe. Interchangeable efforts I’ve tried in the past have suffered from insufficiently strong motors, so they haven’t been able to successfully transmit vibrations throughout each attachment, especially longer/larger ones. Love Not War is mounting an admirable battle against that challenge, however.

It’s a shame that … at £45 a pop, amassing a collection of heads will cost you a pretty penny – although the brand will plant a tree for each one sold.

Speeds: four
Vibe patterns: seven
Power: rechargeable
Run time: one hour
Charge time: two hours
Waterproof:
yes
Warranty: Love Not War will repair toys to keep them alive for as long as possible


Best soft and sensual option:
Smile Makers The Firefighter

£44.95 at Boots
£49.95 at Beauty Bay

Bullets are often designed to treat the genitals like a game of darts: if the clitoris is the bullseye, they aim to hit it dead on. The Firefighter instead approaches stimulation more like a curling match: gently brushing, sweeping and edging towards a climax.

Why we love it
The fluttering, flickering flame-shaped head will suit those who prefer a slow, delicate buildup before switching to the more traditional, targeted “pointy finger” part of the toy.

It’s a shame that … it only comes in pink. The Surfer, another Smile Makers bullet, is a refreshingly unusual zesty orange.

Speeds: four
Vibe patterns: two
Power: rechargeable
Run time: three hours
Charge time: two to two-and-a-half hours
Waterproof:
yes
Warranty: two years


Best budget bullet:
The Rocks Off RO-90

£10.99 at Rocks Off
£9.95 at Amazon

Rocks Off makes a whole shooting range of cheap-and-cheerful battery-powered bullets. Take your pick of pointed, rounded, angled or lipstick-shaped tip; select a slick gloss, powdery matt or silicone finish; and choose from more colours than the fabric of Joseph’s Dreamcoat, including one that changes from purple to pink in response to body heat.

Why we love it
It’s a fair amount of bang for very few bucks. I singled out the RO-90 as my best budget buy because the AAA battery it takes is much easier to source than the N-size variety inside the smaller RO-80 model. The slightly longer shaft makes it better suited to use for penetrative play, too, if that’s your bag.

Hats off to Rocks Off as well for its four-year collaboration with disability charity Enhance The UK to develop a truly accessible toy range, Quest. A 5% share of sales from that collection goes back to the charity.

It’s a shame that … single-button controls mean you have to cycle all the way through speeds/pulses to change them. I also question how the shiny metallic finishes might stand up to long-term cleaning.

Speeds: three
Vibe patterns: seven
Power: 1 x AAA battery
Run time: three hours 30 minutes
Waterproof:
yes
Warranty: two years


The best rabbit vibrators

Best rabbit vibrator overall:
Je Joue Hera Flex

£87.20 at Je Joue
£109 at Superdrug

The Hera Flex is such a good problem-solver, it could probably win an algebra contest. Since everyone’s anatomy is different and distances between vaginas and clitorises vary, a frequent dilemma with rabbits is that once the shaft is inserted, the external stimulator doesn’t quite rest on the right spot. Many toys are too rigid to allow sufficient bending and angle adjustment to solve this issue.

Why we love it
This Je Joue genius solves that: it’s as flexible as a yoga master and both parts of it are poseable, allowing you to easily customise how it curves to fit your bits. Another irritating rabbit habit is that the “ears” intended to tickle either side of the clitoris can pinch, poke or catch against sensitive flesh, depending on how your body happens to be built. Here, the Hera is a hero once more, replacing the traditional bunny head with a plush, spongy, smooth “thumb”. If you’re someone with a more frilly clitoral hood or labia that gets painfully pulled by rabbit ears, this could be a real thumbs up. A quality, thoughtfully re-engineered rabbit reboot.

It’s a shame that … there’s a bit of a jump between the first two power levels. A steadier climb would be preferable. The squishiness of the Hera Flex won’t suit folks who prefer firmer pressure on their hotspots, either. But as so often in the world of sex toys, that’s rather like saying, “people who prefer raspberries shouldn’t choose this banana”; it’s a question of taste, rather than a product being bad.

Speeds: five
Vibe patterns: seven
Power: rechargeable
Run time: one hour
Charge time: one hour and 30 minutes
Warranty: one year


Best for temperature titillation:
Lovehoney Glow Bunny

£79.99 at Lovehoney

If you just want to use this toy as an old-school rabbit, it’s a solid choice … but it also has new-fangled tricks up its sleeve.

Why we love it
The temperature-play plate on the top of the shaft heats to 38C in less than two minutes, feeling almost like a warm tongue, and swiftly cools to 18C, giving a whole new meaning to “Netflix and chill”. I imagine the cold setting could be particularly enticing during sweltering summer nights, and it works nicely for nipple play, too.

It’s a shame that … the power is perfectly acceptable, but not perfect for the power-hungry.

Speeds: three
Vibe patterns: four
Power: rechargeable
Run time: one hour
Charge time: three hours
Waterproof: yes
Warranty: 100 days


Best for air pulse stimulation:
Womanizer D
uo 2

£189 at Womanizer
£189 at Boots

Admittedly, this looks more like something Star Trek’s Captain Picard should be at the helm of than a conventional rabbit. Rather than stimulating the clitoris with vibrations, the Duo 2 uses pulses of air to create a throbbing, sucking effect. Womanizer was the first to introduce this technology to the adult market in 2014, when it represented one of the most groundbreaking innovations in years.

Why we love it
The firm continues to be a pioneer. This toy boasts multiple proprietary features, including “Smart Silence”: it will only turn on when in contact with skin. This means the battery life is preserved and you don’t have to fumble to switch it off in a panic if your intimacy is interrupted.

An Autopilot mode alternates between surprise pulse patterns and intensities to prevent masturbation from becoming predictable, while the Afterglow setting helps you gradually wind down post-climax, rather than simply switching off.

It’s a shame that … the shape takes getting used to, and there are now more intuitive (and affordable) suction and vibration rabbit toys available. That said, I believe the Duo 2 is worth mastering due to its god-tier-level exclusive features.

Speeds: 14
Vibe patterns: 10
Power: rechargeable
Run time: two hours
Charge time: two hours
Waterproof: yes
Warranty: five years


Best for an innovative shaft:
Satisfyer Air Pump Bunny 1

£58.95 at Satisfyer
£39.97 at Amazon

Satisfyer is known for two things. First, making excellent-quality, more affordable “dupes” of aspirational high-end sex toys – almost like an Aldi version of Lelo and co. Second, and in contrast to the first, rolling out vast multitudes of its own novel inventions, including this Air Pump Bunny.

Why we love it
It sports an inflatable shaft that can be enlarged by up to 15mm in diameter at the touch of a button, producing a “filling” sensation that some find mind-blowing. This could be just the ticket if your orgasm is intensified by the presence of a girthy internal toy, giving your vaginal muscles something to clench around as the waves of climax hit (more common than is discussed), especially if you need to build up to having something wide inside you. Magnetic charging, smart buttons and a walloping 15-year warranty show this toy is more than just hot air.

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It’s a shame that … it makes a noise like a car tyre inflator while it’s pumping up, and sounds like your vagina is sighing mournfully as it deflates. Put the stereo on, because this toy’s noises make for an inappropriate and distressing lovemaking soundtrack.

Speeds: five
Vibe patterns: seven
Power: rechargeable
Run time: one hour
Charge time: two hours 30 minutes
Waterproof:
yes
Warranty: 15 years


Best sustainable rabbit:
Natural Love Company Senna

£94.95 at the Natural Love Company

In the past, eco-friendly toys have been well-intentioned yet disappointingly ineffectual, and with an unattractively hippy vibe. There was a wind-up vibrator that required eight minutes of hand-cranking and looked like something you’d find in an army medical tent, and a solar-powered bullet that had to stay attached to its charging panel to work. But now the Natural Love Company is making beautiful, talented toys, with eco credentials, including the incorporation of reclaimed ocean plastics and carbon-neutral delivery.

Why we love it
I was intrigued to check out the Senna after being impressed by the Yarrow: a willow-green rabbit with a thrusting head that’s far more graceful-looking than this kind of gadget has any right to be. The Senna’s undulating shaft mimics a “come hither” motion, with swirling beads beneath a buttery-soft silicone covering, while the rabbit ears have been swapped for a little pulsating bean. It’s another winner that’ll give your knees the hippy shakes.

It’s a shame that … the crevices around the clitoral stimulating nub need extra attention to keep clean and bacteria-free between uses.

Speeds: three
Vibe patterns: seven
Power: rechargeable
Run time: one hour
Charge time: two hours
Waterproof: yes
Warranty: one year


Best new animal:
Snail Vibe Curve

£119 at Sh!
£119.99 at Love Honey

A new animal enters the scene, with an ingenious take on how to tackle those pesky rabbit problems. Instead of bunny ears, the Snail Vibe Curve has a vibrating spiral “shell” that rests externally on the clitoris. As you insert the internal shaft, this shell unrolls to maintain constant clitoral contact – check out the videos on Snail Vibe’s website to see what I mean. You can enjoy penetration that’s as shallow or deep as you wish or thrust the toy back and forth, without the clitoral stimulator slipping out of place.

The Snail has received a glow-up for its Curve edition, with a ribbed texture applied to the shell; magnetic charging; and most usefully, the addition of a looped handle for easier handling. It has two pleasingly throbby motors on the shell and shaft, which can be independently controlled to fine-tune your experience, inside and out. It takes a while to find your way around a toy this curious, but the payoff is worthwhile.

It’s a shame that … the buttons are a fraction fiddly, and don’t think about trombones during use or you won’t be able to stop laughing.

Speeds: five for each motor
Vibe patterns: five for each motor
Power: rechargeable
Run time: one hour
Charge time: two hours
Waterproof:
yes
Warranty: two years


Best budget rabbit:
Bondara Screwball Mon Amour

£45.99 at Bondara

An aesthetic homage to the popular Lelo Soraya 2 that costs a quarter of the price. The Screwball looks like a far posher, better-bred rabbit than it is, and it performs eyebrow-raisingly well for the price point.

Why we love it
With separate motors driving the ears and shaft, it revs very respectably, and its controls can be locked for travel by pressing and holding the + and – buttons for three seconds. The hoop handle is intended for users to loop their fingers through, so their thumb rests naturally on the controls, but you could also thread silky bondage rope through it for … reasons.

It’s a shame that … Bondara recommends that the Screwball isn’t left plugged in for more than four hours, to avoid impairing the battery over time. That’s a pest if you want to charge overnight (or while you’re at work). I wonder if this drawback might be applicable to a bunch of rechargeable sex toys, however, and other brands just aren’t as diligent about warning us?

Speeds: six
Vibe patterns: 10
Power: rechargeable
Run time: 45 minutes
Charge time: three hours
Waterproof:
splashproof
Warranty: none, but faulty items may be returned within 180 days for refund or exchange


The best wand vibrators

Best wand vibrator overall:
Doxy Die Cast By You

£174.99 at Doxy

As they say: go hard, or go home. The mains-powered Doxy Die Cast is arguably as hard as you can go. It’s not for the faint of heart (or parts), but it’s so powerful that it can probably conjure up an orgasm through walls. And speaking of your hopefully thick walls, you don’t get 3,000-9,000 revs a minute of power without noise, so be aware this is loud enough to sound like you need a licence to drive it.

Why we love it
Doxy makes a rechargeable Die Cast (£164.99), and several superb smaller, lighter cordless wands, too. However, I’m recommending the plug-in version because its formidable power never stops. It has a three-metre lead, so it stretches most places you want it to go – if you’re already considering a toy the size of a rounders bat, portability probably isn’t a big concern. I’ve had a version for a decade and a half, and it’s still impeccable.

Nothing about the Die Cast is subtle, but I’d argue that the push for sex toys to be “discreet” has roots in shame. Multiple women who’ve sought my advice for anorgasmia have called me, ecstatic, after my Doxy tipoff has tipped them over into their first ever climax: something unabashed that works is better than something understated that doesn’t. Invest in the customisable By You edition, and get ready to rumble.

It’s a shame that … at 690g, it’s heavy as hell. People without strong wrists or with problems like arthritis should explore wand-positioning cushions, such as those by Liberator and Sportsheets.

Speeds: continuous progression
Vibe patterns: variable escalating pulse mode
Power: mains-powered
Waterproof:
no
Warranty: two years


Best classy all-rounder:
Lelo Smart Wand 2

£107.40 at Lelo
From £113.39 at Amazon

Lelo is the Idris Elba of the adult toy arena: chic, almost universally considered attractive, and a reliably fantastic performer.

Why we love it
This ergonomic delight is easy to wield and functions excellently as a massage gun in addition to its racier applications. It’s elegant, intuitive to use and packs plenty of punch at the higher settings. It would have been my top pick were it not for the fact that I’m confident the Doxy could get an orgasm out of a cabbage.

It’s a shame that … the large Lelo wand will intimidate some folks: for some reason its curved rhino-horn shape makes it seem even heftier than a straight wand. Luckily, there’s a medium size available too.

Speeds: 10
Vibe patterns: 10
Power: rechargeable
Run time: two hours (but I suspect that’s only achievable for users who solely prefer the gentlest speed)
Charge time: two hours
Waterproof:
yes
Warranty: one year, plus a 10-year quality guarantee


Best for long-distance lovers:
Kiiroo ProWand

£79.80 at Kiiroo

The ProWand is a lightweight, velvety wand built to be comfortable for extended use – and boasting an impressive 10-hour-plus run time.

Why we love it
The ProWand can be remotely controlled or connected to other compatible toys with the FeelConnect app, perfect for facilitating shared erotic experiences for lovers who live apart, or who frequently travel separately. I’ve worked with cybersecurity experts at Mozilla to investigate the hackability of internet-enabled sex toys, and the company’s report says Kiiroo “do[es] a pretty good job protecting users’ privacy and security”.

The glowing LED handle can be set to match the colour of lingerie and is dim enough to not illuminate that distracting pile of washing in the corner of your bedroom.

It’s a shame that … the app takes a second to get the hang of, although overall the setup and navigation are much simpler than others I’ve tried.

Speeds: five
Vibe patterns: six
Power: rechargeable
Runtime: 10+ hours
Charge time: four hours
Waterproof: yes
Warranty: one year


Best budget wand:
So Divine Wicked Game

£54.99 at So Divine
£54.99 at Oxygen Boutique

So Divine’s versatile value wand includes the option for vibrations to be emitted from each end of the toy.

Why we love it
This flexibility is a very good thing. Turn on the domed head at the top for external body massage or the insertable shaft at the bottom to enjoy penetration and internal stimulation. Despite this toy having dual motors, you can’t run both ends at once – although only the most adventurous among us would need that.

It’s a shame that … this toy doesn’t pack the power of pricier wands, and some prefer a material and design with more softness, flex and yield. However, it’s a great entry-level wand that gives you a chance to experiment with different stimulation styles and learn what you like before investing in a deluxe toy for three times the price.

Speeds: three
Vibe patterns: seven
Power: rechargeable
Run time: one hour
Charge time: two hours and 30 minutes
Waterproof:
yes
Warranty: two years


How I chose vibrators – and what you should consider

Think about what materials and textures feel inviting to you. Photograph: pcess609/Getty Images

At least 15 toys were tested in each category, with 53 tested in total. In addition to his links to love and lust, Saint Valentine is also the patron saint of beekeeping, so he would feel quite at home amid the cacophony of buzzing that soundtracked the production of this article.

I discounted any products not made from body-safe materials, such as porous jellies that can harbour bacteria and dirt, or plastics containing phthalates, which have been linked to cancer and hormonal interference. I considered things such as whether each device lived up to the claims made by its manufacturer; how easy it was to position and control; how fast it charged and how long the battery lasted, where relevant; and how attractive, adaptable, powerful and comfortable it was.

What I didn’t do was automatically label a toy as a “holy grail”, or an “almighty fail” if it didn’t happen to float my idiosyncratic boat, or provide what I personally need to reach orgasm, through no inherent fault of its own. Deciding upon the “best” vibrator is highly subjective, so I’ve tried to explain how different items might suit different folks.

When making your own considerations, useful questions to ask include:

  • Do I prefer gentle or potent vibrations (or both)? What styles of touch delight me, and do I want external or internal stimulation (or both)?

  • What shape and size of toy will suit my body and my tastes?

  • Do I want something simple, straightforward and intuitive, or experimental/multi-functional/tech-enabled?

  • What materials and textures feel inviting to me?

A note on volume: some reviews rate toys on how quiet they are, but I’ve NEVER met a vibe that’s as near-silent as it says it is. For that reason, I’ve only pointed out when a toy is notably loud enough to sound like you’ve rented it from a builders’ merchant.

In almost all cases, you do have to put your hand in your pocket if you want the best. Strong motors, neat details and high-performance designs don’t tend to come cheap. I believe pleasure should be accessible to all, though, so there’s at least one budget option included in each category. It’ll have some compromises, but it should give you plenty of “Ooh!” for not much dough.


Can vibrators decrease your sensitivity?

Let me reassure you: using vibrators will not cause nerve damage to your genitals. However, if, over a prolonged period, you always reach for a toy when masturbating – particularly if it’s a high-strength model like a mains-powered wand – you may inadvertently condition your body to become used to intense stimulation. Much like a curry fan who’s been mainlining vindaloo and is then served a masala, the comparatively gentle feelings provided by fingers or partners may begin to feel less spicy, and you may struggle to orgasm without the potent or pinpointed vibrations with which you’ve become familiar.

A similar problem arises for people with penises who hold themselves very tightly and use rough motions during solo play. American sex educator Dan Savage nicknamed this “the death grip”, and it can cause erectile dysfunction and difficulties ejaculating via the relative tenderness of intercourse.

Luckily, solutions are simple. First: chill out on your vibrator use, to give your body time to reappraise the delights of the delicate. You may want to try a period of abstinence, where you return to manual masturbation without grabbing a toy. Or if you’ve been cranking your toy’s power straight up to 11, try being a little less Spın̈al Tap and experimenting with softer speeds and patterns. Lubricant can help too, by cushioning sensitive tissues a little.

If you find that sex without toys simply doesn’t feel as good, another option is to involve your toys in sex. Contrary to many people’s fears, vibrators can’t replace the profound intimacy and thrill of being with another human being, but they can vastly enhance shared experiences – they’re complementary co-pilots, not competitors.

If you’re someone who feels threatened by toys, it may help to think of them as specialist equipment. You wouldn’t feel emasculated or belittled if you had to equip yourself with an axe to cut down a tree instead of just using your bare hands, right? Instead, it’s more impressive to learn to wield that equipment like a pro; whether you want to chop timber or set your partner’s night alight. Using the right apparatus the right way is the fastest route to successfully starting a fire. Ask your lover to show you how they like the toy to be positioned, and be eager to take on any feedback they give.


Alix Fox is an award-winning writer and broadcaster specialising in sexual wellbeing and culture, with 20 years of experience in receiving dick pics sent not to titillate, but because the worried texter wants an informed opinion on a weird lump/rash/wart. She’s currently writing her first book, Gripped – a deep dive into the most curious and compelling realms of sex and love that one early reader described as a “horny Jon Ronson”. She legitimately has to rent a storage unit to house her collection of erotic apparatus. What’s NSFW for you is probably just W for Alix

Article by:Source: Alix Fox

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