‘A real lack of empathy’: women’s experiences of expressing milk at work | Breastfeeding

An employment judge has ruled that a healthcare worker suffered “harassment related to sex” after a suitable private space for her to express breast milk was not provided to her by an NHS health board.

Robyn Gibbins told an employment tribunal that she was not given a room that she could lock and felt let down by the trust in Cardiff. A trust spokesperson said the Cardiff and Vale university health board was committed to ensuring all colleagues are treated respectfully, with dignity and without discrimination or prejudice.

Dozens of mothers shared their own experiences of expressing milk at work with the Guardian. About half of the women felt that they did not have adequate facilities in their workplace and of those many felt embarrassed to ask for a suitable room. Those who were provided with one said the standards were sometimes poor, with spaces ranging from a shower cubicle to an office with a leaking roof. Others feared being walked in on, with some women giving up expressing altogether and were “reduced to tears” at not being able to breastfeed their babies for longer.

However, others said they felt very well supported by their employers.

Here are three stories from women with differing experiences of expressing milk in the workplace and how they feel about the facilities available to them.

‘A year on, I still express milk in a toilet’

I work in a big office and when I returned to work last January I assumed there would be somewhere for me to express. I hoped I would be able to store the milk and take it home for my daughter but when I found I could only do it in a toilet I decided to ‘pump and dump’ instead. A year on and I’m still doing this.

I started off expressing for 20 minutes twice a day but have reduced it now to once a day. If I had a private space with a sink available I could get on with work, but instead I’m wasting time having to clean breast pumps in a toilet. I’ve had mastitis a lot and I think it’s because I’ve not been able to regularly express in the way I’d like.

I’ve recently discovered there’s a return to work scheme for parents but my boss didn’t tell me. I don’t think he knows about it nor has it crossed his mind that I might need somewhere suitable to express. It shouldn’t be embarrassing to ask but it is.

I feel there’s a real lack of understanding in some workplaces with some showing no awareness at all. It’s so overwhelming coming back to work after having a baby. There’s a lot of pressure to come back at the same level you left, which is so difficult when you’re not getting any sleep. Sophie, 37, works in publishing, London

‘Someone said they didn’t want my milk to leak on their sandwiches’

I thought my employer would be really supportive because they are a large university who talk about their positive values a lot. Before I returned to work at the end of 2023, I told them I would like a private place to express and presumed somewhere would be available. But when I came back the room I was given had no lock, only a slider sign to say whether it was vacant or engaged.

Even though I would indicate that the room was engaged while I was expressing, people still kept walking in. It was really awkward. When I raised it, someone suggested putting my name on the door saying what I was doing. I might as well just express in public!

There was also nowhere to wash the pump so I would have to do it in the shared kitchen which didn’t even have soap in it – I had to ask. I would also store my milk in the fridge that was there and someone in the office said they didn’t want my milk to leak on their sandwiches. I was so surprised that it was as if no one had ever needed to express milk before.

A few months later another room, with a lock, was found in another building which I could use. By that point I had given up expressing milk for my daughter’s use because I could only produce a small amount due to feeling so tense at work. I wanted to express for longer but it didn’t seem worth it any more. I felt there was a real lack of empathy and they didn’t listen to what I needed – I just fell through the cracks. The whole thing made me feel really uncomfortable. Anne, 37, works in higher education, the Midlands

‘I was given a locked, private room and an allocated fridge’

I’m one of the lucky ones as my workplace was really supportive when I returned to work last March. The week before I officially went back I mentioned I would be expressing milk and wanted to make sure I had time to do it.

They allocated a locked private room for me to express in and I could get the key from reception. It had a blind, a chair and a desk and meant I could pump discreetly and comfortably. They also provided me with a fridge, which I could use for storage and marked it as ‘medical use only’ after I raised concerns that someone might come across my milk when getting their lunch and I’d be embarrassed.

After expressing for three months I told reception I didn’t need to use it any more, but they said other women would be returning from maternity leave soon and that they would leave it as it is.

I think it helped that most of the people working in HR are women and understand that you shouldn’t have to go to the toilet to express because it’s quite dirty and unhygienic. Sarah, 38, works in manufacturing, Berkshire