Wallowing in a soup of despair? Try ‘lemonading’ to buck the gloom | Mental health

If foreign politics, environmental collapse and the impending takeover of the world by machines are leaving you glum, psychologists have identified a strategy that could help bolster your resilience: “lemonading”.

Rather than wallowing in an acerbic soup of despair, researchers have discovered that people with high levels of playfulness may be better equipped to cope with the dud cards life throws at them.

“They don’t necessarily do different activities or do them more often than others but they experience these activities more deeply – with greater immersion, mental engagement and joy,” says Dr Xiangyou “Sharon” Shen at Oregon State University in the US, who led the study. “We call this ability lemonading – they are essentially turning lemons into lemonade.”

Shen and her colleague made this discovery by studying how 503 US adults experienced the Covid pandemic. Their research, published in Frontiers in Psychology, found that while people with higher levels of spontaneity, lower inhibitions and a greater propensity to seek out fun were just as realistic about the risks and challenges they were confronted with, they imagined future possibilities with greater optimism and saw obstacles as opportunities for growth, compared with less playful individuals.

They were also more likely to explore new places, find creative ways to stay active, and to “infuse quality and enjoyment into everyday experiences”, says Shen. “In times of stress and uncertainty, this combination proves to be a powerful strength.”

Importantly, she thinks playfulness is a trait that can be cultivated. “Even during hectic times, dedicating five to 10 minutes daily for a small dose of play – whether solo or shared – can make a meaningful difference.”

But how much difference? I spent the week with a clown, a comedian and a group of toddlers, to find out.

Holly Stoppit is a Bristol-based drama therapist who released a series of clown workouts during the pandemic to encourage adults to rekindle their inner child. Play, she says, is a rehearsal for life: “When you’re pretending different scenarios, different realities, it opens up different ways of connecting with the world and creates space around any notions of fixed reality. It allows you to see more options that are available to you.”

We meet in a cafe, where Stoppit teaches me several tricks to up my daily play count (see sidebar). During this meeting, I make several life-enriching discoveries, including that coffee makes a poppety-pop sound if you hold it close to your ear; and that an exercise called Note of Infinity can induce giggling fits.

My favourite trick involves imagining you have a secret weapon as you go about your daily life: this could be anything from your eyes to a single canine tooth. “The crucial thing is you must fully believe that something about you is wonderful or beautiful and brilliant,” says Stoppit. “But you never tell – it’s a secret.”

When I describe this to my friend Amy later on, her first guess is that mine is my “bum hole”. Amy’s playful inner child is strong. But wrong.

But lemonading isn’t only about play. “It’s also about engaging in activities that spark joy and curiosity, and connecting with people who make you laugh,” says Shen.

The next day, I meet up with my neighbour and professional comedian, Louise Leigh, for a cold-water swim. Louise is a master of finding the fun in everyday life: She admits putting on a different accent each time she visits the local hardware shop, catcalling other people’s dogs and talking to an imaginary podcast host when she is alone in the car. But she insists that play can also be a quiet activity. “I recently spent seven minutes playing with a blob of Blue Tack,” she says.

A former swimming teacher, she believes play creates a pressure-free space that inhibits overthinking – which is why she would often assess children’s swimming abilities by getting them to play a game. “Play stops people from trying to be their best. They just do what they’re doing instead.”

She says comedy is also a form of play: “Perhaps the resilience comes from creating a safe space in which it’s OK to make mistakes.”

We don’t do anything overtly playful during our swim, apart from jumping into a lake and laughing a lot. We’re making lemonade out of freezing, murky water.

Separate research suggests such playfulness could also help to boost workplace resilience. When Dr Nancy Tandler, of Martin Luther University Halle-Wittenberg in Germany, and colleagues recently interviewed employees from various fields of work, they found that those with a lighthearted approach to life and who used playfulness to ease and enjoy social situations, coped more positively with work stress.

They also interviewed nursery teachers about the strategies they use to cope with stressful scenarios, such as trying to take 14 young children to the bathroom at once. Again, those with a more playful approach were less fazed by such challenges, and could even could find amusement in them, by inventing a game or some interesting rules to stop the children arguing.

I cast my mind back to when my own children were toddlers: joyous as playing with them was, I’m not sure I felt any more resilient. Yet perhaps spending time with someone else’s children now would help me to see the world through rejuvenated eyes.

I ask my friend Corrie if I can attend the weekly toddler group she runs at a local allotment. When I arrive, the main attraction is a heap of woodchips, which someone has managed to dig a perfectly round tunnel through. Then, a small person called Kit demolishes it with a pitchfork. He then sets about digging a deep hole. “What do you think you’ll find at the bottom?” I ask. He looks at me blankly, as if to say ‘there is no end goal here. Digging is the point.’

I return home with freezing fingers, and a “stick friend” I’ve crafted with pipe cleaners and a scrap of sheepskin. Regardless of whether I’ve boosted my resilience, I’ve been reminded of just how much fun life can be if you take a moment to notice the details of everyday objects, stop thinking and just dig, or chat to an imaginary podcast host as you’re driving in your car. And I bet you still can’t guess what my secret weapon is.

How to boost your playfulness

True playfulness doesn’t require a playground, games, or toys. “It’s about bringing a spirit of openness, creativity, and fun to everyday moments,” says Shen.

There is some evidence to suggest that playfulness can be cultivated. For instance, researchers at Martin Luther University Halle-Wittenberg in Germany found that instructing people to try using their playfulness in a different way each day for seven days led to small to moderate increases in their self-reported playfulness over the next three months. Writing down three playful things they had done at the end of each day also helped.

Shen suggests being open to new experiences: “Start small – choose one routine task each day and experiment with approaching it differently, for fun. Maybe your morning coffee becomes a mindful tasting adventure, or your commute turns into an urban exploration.”

Another idea is to take seemingly random detours – literally and metaphorically – during everyday life. “These not only help you discover and enjoy new experiences, they also build your creativity reserve for future challenges,” Shen says.

Stoppit recommends an exercise known as Bafflement. It involves thinking about the back of your head, while exploring the objects in front of you, as if for the first time. “As adults, we often think ‘I’m an expert and know what I’m doing’. This exercise gives us permission to investigate without knowing what we’re doing,” Stoppit says.

A related activity, called Note of Infinity, is designed to induce a state of excitement. It involves waving your hands in front of you while making a low-pitched note in your belly, then sliding it up to the very top of your vocal range, and imagining it bursting through the top of your head and hovering there.

“Often, when I do this in my clowning workshops, I’ll teach people to play a simple clapping game, then we’ll do Note of Infinity, and return to the game,” says Stoppit. “People just can’t wait to take their turn; they get really into the sensations of clapping; clapping in different ways. It creates this unbridled sense of play.”